Pit's Lacking
by golfer
Summary: Pit is the worst fighter in the history of Super Smash Bros. He is given an ultimatum by Master Hand; either he beats his best friend, Link, in the next brawl, or he can kiss Super Smash Bros goodbye. Read and Review!


**No explanation.**

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Pit lost another brawl. He just couldn't win a single one! Smash Bros Brawl, the third assembly of the best fighters throughout history, has gone on the longest of all the others; five long years. In those years, 35000 brawls, mostly 1,000 for each. Of his 1,000, Pit had been blown out in every one of them. He was considered the bottom of the standings.

Now he was in Master Hand's office. The large, dark room seemed depressing and intimidating to the angel, with the blinds closed, and face to face with the boss.

"Pit!" The boss bellowed angrily, his voice echoing slightly. He was massive, quite fitting behind his massive desk. He didn't seem to have any sort of body, instead cloaked within a massive trench coat. His voice was loud enough to tip the angel out of his chair and tumbling to the floor. Then, again, the boss spoke.

"You pathetic cur!" He roared. "I mean, of all the fighters here...YOU lose a thousand and some fights?" Pit had no answer. The boss began to float towards him. Pit shook in fear. "ANSWER me when I talk to you! Palutena kicked you out on your ass, and I offer to let you in, PROVIDED that you only had to win some fights and behave. Oh, you behaved...and you LOSE EVERY FIGHT YOU IDIOT!" The boss quit his onslaught on the stunned angel, sitting back behind his desk. He let out a long sigh.

"I-I'm s-sorry sir..." Pit muttered, beginning to shed a tear. The boss spoke again. "Don't be sorry," the boss ordered. "Be better! Listen to me. I will haul you out on your fat ass if you lose the next fight! You get me? I've lost a trillion smash coins...HALF of all my funding, because our sponsors say you suck. And I don't blame them. You do suck. Who loses a thousand fights anyways? Let me tell you something. Every fighter, no matter what, has won at least fifty fights. Except you, mr. loser. So, my deal is this. Win ONE fight, tomorrow, against Link, who is also pretty sucky, but you didn't hear it from me. Win it against him, and you will never be in danger of being kicked out." There was silence. Pit felt the tears on his cheeks drying, and being replaced with his smile. Then, he felt more dread. "If...you lose...I will throw you out to the rats who will fight you for meat and blood. I will disgrace your name throughout the world. You failed Palutena. You failed your fellow smashers during the subspace war. You will NOT botch me. You got this? Good. Get out, and take your disgrace with you." Pit wasted no time in getting up, albeit stumbling a bit, and running away from the boss as fast as he could. The boss sighed and sat back in his chair.

Pit ran down the hallway. The boss had frightened him, not that, of course, other things did not. Everything did, and it made him miserable. During the walk down the hallway, away from the boss, he saw all sorts of things; spiders, cockroaches, and a bee, all of which terrified Pit.

"What'd the boss say?" Link asked, coming up from behind. He knew to do it slowly, lest of course he frighten the daylights out of Pit...again.

"H-he said..." Pit began with a stutter. "That if I don't win my next fight...against you...I'll get thrown out of the mansion!" Link felt a wave of guilt overtake him, and he dearly wished for a place to sit in the hallway. None was to be found. He slumped against the wall, gazing in the eyes of his friend.

"Damn it..." Link swore quietly, letting out a hard blast of air from his nostrils. "I'm sorry." Pit shook his head.

"Don't be sorry," Pit said, smiling.

"I'll...lose the fight..." Link responded reluctantly. "So you can stay, you know? I miss a few attacks?" Pit shook his head.

"No, Link!" Pit reprimanded. "Then what did I earn? I don't wanna stay on a lie. I wanna stay because I'm good enough."

"You're...good..." Link said, in an attempt to calm Pit down. He placed his hand on Pit's shoulder, and Pit shook his shoulder, implying he wanted no contact.

"Good?" Pit asked in amazement. "Red...that weirdo with the pokemon...he has eighty wins! And he doesn't fight! He's considered bad! Mario is at the top with nine hundred and seventy nine wins. And I haven't won a single game." Pit sank to the floor, his toga thing dragging behind him. He collapsed in a heap, his head between his legs and his hands covering his eyes. Link didn't know what to do to comfort his friend. He didn't want him to leave. He really liked Pit.

"Hmm..." Link hummed outloud, having come up with an idea. Pit didn't flinch, but he stayed in his position. Link smiled. "I know how you can beat me..." Pit's attention peaked, and he raised his head.

"I'll train you," Link said. Pit got confused, and Link saw it in his face.

"You're...gonna train...me?" Pit queried in disbelief. Link only nodded.

"Oh, I'll train you, and I'll teach you everything I know," Link responded. "If I do that, you'll beat me-". Suddenly, a loud, booming voice blasted through the hallways, belonging to the boss.

"I FORGOT!" He roared, sounding exactly as he did with Pit. "HEY, CUR! YOUR FIGHT'S TONIGHT. I'M GOING OUT TO DINNER TOMORROW!" Silence prevailed in the halls once again. At first, looking at Pit, Link saw how calm he was. As if a truck hit him, Pit's face fell into a look of despair, and he moaned, putting his head in his hands again.

"Argh," Pit moaned in frustration. "I'm more screwed than Captain Falcon in an overnight motel," Link couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"Haha, then you'll win against me for sure," Link chimed. Pit frowned, not understanding what Link meant. It took him a while to realize the joke, and he laughed as well, of course it being at Falcon's expense. That's what made it so funny. Pit liked that about Link; he always made him laugh. Ever since the two met, so long ago, they were the best of friends.

"Well...good luck..." Link mumbled, walking away. Pit sighed. How could he possibly win? Link was a good fighter. He won more than half of all his battles. Pit couldn't beat anyone, let alone a top fighter. It would be a disaster. Still, Pit knew at that moment, that there was no turning back. For the first time in his life, Pit had to face his problems head on. His trembling hand reached towards his sheathed bow, protectively on his back, ready to use. He fingered the blade, feeling it almost cut his finger without putting any pressure. Gripping the bow, he slowly unsheathed it, feeling the delicate weapon gently scrape against the sheath. Pit stood up slowly.

"Palutena..." Pit prayed, looking up at heaven. He took a deep breath. "Please...I know I kinda screwed up in the past...I know I almost got you killed. I know I might have killed a few billion centurions...and ran away from a bunch of fights...and went through a phase where I wanted a sex change...but please...give me the strength to defeat Link...just once. Please..." Suddenly, Pit felt a warm, yellow light on him. It gave him a sense of comfort, a sense of peace. He knew it was from Palutena. He waited for a response eagerly.

"Oh heeeeeeeell no," Palutena sassed. Suddenly, as quickly as it came, the light disappeared. Pit glared up at the ceiling.

"You suck!" Pit retorted rather loudly, causing his voice to echo. He waved his fist up in the air, and walked on through the hallway, stomping with each step.

When he was at the stairway, climbing up it, he looked face to face at Link. Pit smiled and waved, but was not met with such from Link. Link turned to look right at Pit, but his face didn't change expression; it was blank, with no emotion; it almost seemed like Link was frowning, and for no apparent or immediate reason. It hurt Pit seeing Link walk down the stairs without so much as a smile towards Pit. Pit hoped that their fight would not end their friendship if Pit won. The two had never fought before. Pit thought of it no more, however; he just wanted to get it out of his head and go upstairs to his room.

In no time at all, Pit was in his own personal room. Yawning, Pit stretched his skinny, slender, pale arms in the air. He struggled to keep his eyes open; he was exhausted from the fight earlier, even though it was a blowout and took less than forty seconds. Pit trudged to his bed, a two person bed that Master Hand put in everyone's room, just in case, of course. Pit never would need the extra space, and Master Hand knew it, but he never bothered to take the bed apart. Pit enjoyed the extra space.

He collapsed on the bed, relaxing on the soft linen and letting off a long, deep sigh. For him, sleeping in his everyday attire was taboo, but he was exhausted, too much so to take off his clothes and put on pajamas. Soon, he descended into the darkness of sleep.

_Pit awoke to a bright light shining in his eyes. His eyes looking about, he saw the bright sun, and several small, marshmallow white clouds that just floated there. He lifted his head, seeing that he was in a large, green field, covered in almost every kind of colored flower he'd ever seen in his life. He recognized it immediately. Skyworld._

_ "Whoa...I must have lost against Link pretty bad..." Pit said to himself, feeling the soft, dew-kissed grass. "Link really did kill me..." Pit looked around, and stared into the blue, crystal clear sky. _

_ "No idiot," a voice objected. "Link hasn't killed you!" Pit recognized the voice. _

_ "Palutena?" he asked, surprised at her coming. Palutena suddenly appeared right in front of Pit, stunning him further._

_ "Nah," Palutena said, waving her hand in front of her face. "It's Wario." Palutena's voice was filled with sarcasm. _

_ "Palutena..." Pit started. "Teach me how to beat Link..." He waited for an answer, but was met with a high pitched, obnoxious laugh._

_ "You? Beat Link? What do I look like, a freaking genie?" Palutena asked. Pit nodded, making Palutena question why she was doing this for such a moron. She face palmed and sighed. "Alright, listen. I will not help you beat Link. You can't beat him. You're screwed. But if you want to try, then heed this hint." Palutena put her hands in the air over her head, and she wiggled her fingers while Pit just sat in the dew covered grass, confused. Palutena then began to twirl in the air. She began to fade more and more as time went on and as she kept spinning. Pit just kept staring at her, which grew more and more difficult, as now she was as clear as the air around him. However, left where she was, there was a heart. _

Pit looked around. He felt somewhat confused, because he was in his own bed. He deducted that it might have been a dream, and an odd one at that. Pit just didn't get it. He couldn't believe it was a dream. It was so vivid and so real; he could practically remember the feel of the dew on his bottom, and he could remember Palutena's soft, if not a bit bitter, voice. Nevertheless, he got up from his bed, but he couldn't get the dream out of his head, the most puzzling part being the heart. What could it mean? He asks for a strategy on how to beat Link, and as a hint, she leaves in a heart? Pit racked his mind, pacing around, thinking of all sorts of interpretations, but nothing seemed to come.

Looking at the clock, he gasped. Six in the evening...almost time for his battle. Pit gave up hope, and sat back down on his bed. He didn't feel tired, but he felt a wave of depression pass over him like a wave on a house. It overwhelmed his thought. All he could think about was Link. His sword strikes, the way it seemed to dance around in the air, picking off where his opponent was weak, and exploiting it. He thought about Link's incredible foot work, how it was almost unmatched, at least, to Pit. Then he thought about his own failures, his own screw ups, and his own weaknesses and strengths as a brawler. Sure, he was fast, and he had some powerful strikes and an advantage with his mirror shield, but skill wise, he was lacking dramatically. He thought about his first fight with Bowser. He was eager, and he stepped on final destination, awed by the incredible space scenery, when all of a sudden, he turned to see the ten foot beast. And Pit could only wet himself and stand, still as a statue, while he was pummeled off the stage.

Pit, sitting on his bed, thought of all his memories at the mansion, how despite all his failures, despite everything he had done, Link was his friend, and that touched his heart. Nevertheless, he racked his brain, thinking of ways to beat Link, but he just seemed unstoppable, like a tank.

"AHA!" Pit cried out in surprise, literally snapping his finger. "A tank indeed!" Pit thought up the scenario in his head. Link, powerful, but slow, couldn't match his speed. That seemed to be the strategy Pit needed to even come close. He could only hope that it would work.

The clock struck 7, which shocked Pit when he realized his flashbacks and his memories and daydreams took an hour, which only passed as seeming like five minutes or so. He had to get ready. He had no time to do much but grab his bow and run out of the door.

In Smash Bros matches, there is some mild gambling. Simple bets were made to Wario (who was not above keeping some of the coins and cheating people out of their winnings) on who was going to win, not unlike a horserace.

When Pit came downstairs, his heart sank like the Titanic. He saw that everybody was betting, and he knew that nobody would bet on the worst smasher. He felt like he was stabbed in the back; thirty three smashers, minus him and Link, who was waiting on the stage, were all crowding around an elated Wario, who gladly took heaps and heaps of coins from every smasher.

His heart sank further. Master Hand, with a small victory pin in his grip, was already floating over a seat. Pit stepped up to him, and saw that the pin already had Link's name on it. Pit felt that knife go right through him. Like a death row inmate taking his last steps, Pit slothed towards the stage where Link awaited eagerly. The green victory pin was right; Pit had no chance, and now he knew it.

"Let's make this quick!" Master Hand announced. "I have a date tomorrow!" Everyone went silent at his awkward announcement, as opposed to the loud hustle and bustle just a few seconds earlier. Ike spoke up.

"What's his name?" Ike asked with a smirk on his face. The room roared in laughter, and Master Hand turned beat red while sinking down in his seat, completely humiliated. Slowly, however, the smashers did go to their seats that had the side view of the stage, albeit there were still chuckles. Pit saw Link smile and hold back laughter, while Pit felt a smile creep on his face.

"Hey Pit!" Someone called out to Pit when everyone was seated. "When you leave Smash Mansion, can I have your bed?" Pit was confused about the question. What kind of question was that? He looked and saw that Bowser and Wario were laughing. It did sound like Wario's voice. He turned to look down at Bowser.

"Uh...why?" Pit asked, raising his eye brows. Bowser put his hands over his mouth, and his cheeks were bulging while he tried to hold back laughter.

"Because," Wario started, smiling. "I can find a better use for it than you can!" The room roared in laughter again, and Pit felt heat rapidly surge through his face. He was blushing very deeply.

"Alright!" Master Hand ordered. "I have that freaking date after this, so Link! Hurry up and beat him, will you? I need some sleep so I can wake up bearable for my date!" Link said nothing and turned to Pit. "GO!"

Link rushed at Pit, sword drawn, ready to strike Pit with one of his devastating blows. Deciding to not put up a fight, he just stood there, and though he felt the sword pierce him, there was no pain or blood. Pit was just bashed a few feet away, yet he remained on his feet. His bow remained by his side as Link continued to deliver his powerful strikes. Quickly, the damage mounted. 10%. 20%. 50%. 70%. That blow was the worst. It knocked him off his feet and towards the edge of the stage. The hellish match was almost over.

"Hey Pit!" Ganondorf hollered. "Yo mama gave birth to a girl!" Pit began to grind his teeth, and his fists clenched. He didn't hear the rest of the insult, but Pit leaped to his feet, to Link's surprise. Link raised his sword, but Pit delivered a stab, then, grabbing Link in a fit of red-faced rage, he threw him over the edge of the stage. Link was quickly able to recover, and the two stood, toe to toe. The odds were against Pit, but it was as if his spirit was lifted by the rage from Ganon's insult.

Pit felt his leg begin to pulse and fill with energy. The muscle began to become uneasy, and Pit yanked his leg up, straight in between Link's legs.

The crowd gasped along with Pit. He couldn't believe what he had just done. Link's kind eyes were replaced with a dead look, and Link's body went limp, falling over the edge of the stage and showing no signs of getting back up. And he didn't get back up.

The audience froze completely. The eating, drinking and laughing were stalled, and even the crickets, it seemed, were too stunned to chirp. Pit faced Ganon, who's mouth was wide open in surprise. Pit, jumping off the stage and landing in front of Ganon, pointed his finger right at him.

"What about my mama?" Pit challenged, now leaning inches from Ganon's face. Ganondorf didn't dare to say a word, because he thought Pit would do the same thing to him. He remained silent.

Pit grabbed the back of the chair, and he began to pull it with one arm. Struggle to do so as he might, the chair finally budged about four inches. Pit felt like he was going to blush, since his original goal was to flip Ganon over, but he wasn't strong enough.

"Next time, I'll flip it," Pit sassed, stomping away. The room remained silent, with all eyes on a barely moved Ganondorf. After a moment of silence or so, Master Hand spoke up.

"Damnit," he swore, angrily. "I guess this means I gotta change this pin."

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**Yes. I bashed Pit to no end. I think this was one of my better stories. I think I'm pretty cut out for bash fics. Ah well. Read and review. **


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